Three partner having lunch

Three partners in an accounting firm go out to lunch. They are the audit partner, the tax partner and the senior partner. One of them sees a brass lamp lying in the gutter. Curious, they pick it up and give it a rub. Instantly, a genie appears."You know the deal," says the genie. "Three wishes. But seeing there are three of you, you can have one wish each.
""Great," says the audit partner. "Take me to the Whitsunday Islands, give me a blonde and an endless supply of XXXX and leave me there for ever."Pouf! There is a flash of light, a puff of smoke and he is gone.
"Now me," says the tax partner. "Take me to the Cook Islands, give me two blondes and an endless supply of offshore tax schemes and leave me there for ever."Pouf! There is a flash of light, a puff of smoke and he is gone.
The genie turns to the senior partner. "And what do you want?""I want those two ba ck in the office straight after lunch."

Ode of Auditing

We test without apology
Both safety and ecology
And inventories, budgets, and production.
Checking scrap and sanitation,
Overtime, and transportation –
Not forgetting cost accounting and construction.
We test sales and check insurance
(EDP tries our endurance
As we audit payroll, cash, and simulation!)
We study management by objective,
Test controls that are defective,
And evaluate employee compensation.
We do sampling and regression
And there is a strong impression
We’re responsible for catching all crooks.
We are really in our element
With research and development –
But thankfully we do not keep the books.
We check aircraft, trucks and motor cars,
And rockets that fly up to the stars,
And leases, loans – even personnel.
We examine engineering
Even salvage is endearing
And we check on records management as well.
There is nothing we can’t verify –
There’s nothing that escapes our eye.
Alert to all misconduct and to fraud.
We will go where others fear to tread
And as it has often been said,
"We are the eyes and ears of management and the Board."
- By Lawrence Sawyer